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You are here: Home / The Cold Spotlight / How To Ask For A Second Date (10 Ways)

How To Ask For A Second Date (10 Ways)

December 15, 2022
By William Butterworth
@WBuilding101
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Dating. Young couple tasting coffee drinks enjoying flirt and conversation during weekend date sitting in cozy cafe

 

First dates can feel awkward.

You’re meeting someone for the first time in an intimate setting and essentially trying to impress them.

You’re also trying to learn about them to see if you’re a good match.

If all goes well, then comes the most awkward part of the night.

You have to figure out how to casually ask for a second date.

From using the details discovered during the date to ask in person, here are a few ways you can ask for a second date.

 

How To Ask For A Second Date (10 Ways)

 

1. Focus On A Story They Told

Flirting in a cafe. Beautiful loving couple sitting in a cafe drinking coffee and enjoying in conversation. Love, romance, dating

 

If you’ve been a good listener, then you heard them talk about a story or two.

It might have been a story about their past or their dreams for the future.

You can use that information to segue yourself into asking for a second date.

For example, if they told you a story about how their favorite place was an old library, you might suggest having your second date there.

This is a major win for a few reasons.

The first is that it shows you were paying attention to them when they were talking.

In today’s world of screens and short attention spans, it’s easy for people to lose focus and zone out of the conversation.

Showing them you were paying attention tells them that you have a genuine interest in them.

Secondly, it’s romantic.

Offering to have a date in a place that’s special to someone can mean a lot to that person.

Your chances of scoring a second date are higher.

To ask for a second date, you should try to relate the question to some story that they told you during your first date.

 

2. Try A New Hobby Together

Couple in home kitchen looking at recipe on the web and cooking

 

This method can also apply to a hobby.

For example, if they told you about how they love to go hiking, you can use that as an idea for a potential second date.

You might suggest that you take a short hike together along a well-traveled trail.

If there’s a local park or boardwalk, then you can always suggest hiking there, too.

Hiking alone with someone you don’t know that well yet can set off alarm bells.

As such, it’s a good idea to measure the hobby with safety in mind.

By making it safer, you can make them feel more comfortable with you.

There’s also the method of asking for a second date to try a new hobby together.

If you both expressed an interest in learning how to bake, for example, then you might suggest having a second date at a baking class.

Not only is it a great setting for a second date, but it also increases your chances of landing the second date since the other individual is interested in trying it, too.

Finally, it also shows that you were paying attention to them.

That’ll earn you some points, too.

To ask for a second date, you should consider asking about trying out some new hobby together for a second date.

 

3. Try A New Restaurant Or Bar Together

Happy young couple having breakfast in a cafe. Love, dating, food, lifestyle concept

 

Restaurants and bars are popular choices for dates.

They allow the daters to talk and get to know one another.

If you want to spice up the setting, however, you might suggest having the second date at a restaurant or bar that is new to you both.

You might want to try a new cuisine or just a different kind of ambiance.

If you both like to drink, you might want to try a popular new bar that can provide a great backdrop for your second date.

Either way, it’s a decision that you should make together.

You might even get the idea when they mention a restaurant they’ve been wanting to try.

You can always approach them with the idea of having your second date at the restaurant, so you can try the food together.

This option increases the chances of getting a second date since they are interested in dining at the new restaurant or trying the new bar.

 

4. Suggest Seeing A Movie You’re Both Interested In

Happy couple sitting in movie theater, watching 3D movie, eating popcorn, smiling.

 

During your first date, you might discover that you both have a love for the movies.

If that’s the case, then it may be a natural choice to head to the movies for a second date.

While movies are often the first date, there’s no one saying you can’t have your second date at the movies.

If you both love going to the movies, then there’s even more of a reason for you to go and enjoy them together.

The best movie to see is one you both are interested in seeing.

You don’t want one person to enjoy the film while the other person is miserable.

You’re unlikely to earn a third date.

When asking for a second date, you might suggest going to see a movie that they talked about wanting to see earlier.

You can suggest going to see it together.

Since they want to see the movie, there’s a higher chance that they’ll agree to a second date with you.

You can ask for a second date by suggesting you go see a movie you both are interested in seeing.

 

5. Challenge Them To Something

Happy friends playing video games with virtual reality glasses

 

You may discover during your first date that your date is particularly competitive.

They might enjoy a good challenge.

As such, one way to ask for a second date is to challenge them to something.

There might be a food challenge at one of the local restaurants.

You can suggest a challenge to see who can complete it on your second date.

If that’s a bit too much, you can always invite them to play a game.

If they have friends who are competitive and like to play sports, you can get your two friend groups together for a game.

Your friends will get to know one another while you have fun challenging your date.

You can even challenge them to a video game if you both prefer gaming.

Their competitive nature might incline them to accept your offer of a second date since they want to beat you.

Of course, you’ll want to be mindful of your behavior during the second date.

If you come off as too competitive, then you might ruin your chances.

Otherwise, you can always use their competitive nature to ask for a second date.

 

6. Say It In Person Or Call

Young couple having date in cafe, drinking coffee and talking

 

One of the most important parts of asking for a second date is to ensure you’re doing it in person.

While it’s becoming more and more common to text someone after a first date and ask for a second date, it isn’t always the most romantic way to do it.

Some people prefer a more old-fashioned means of communication when it comes to important events.

The best way to ask for a second date is in person.

If you’re feeling like the date went well and you’re receiving good signals from them, then you’ll want to ask after the first date in person.

This gives you the chance to read their body language, too.

You can find out if they’re into you or if they just see you as a friend.

If you don’t think the time is right to ask right after a first date, then your next best option is to call them.

Calling is a bit more personal than texting.

You’re able to hear their voice and tone which can indicate how enthused they are at the prospect of going on a second date with you.

Either way, asking in person or calling is a bit more romantic than just texting.

You’ll want to ask for a second date by either asking them in person or calling them.

 

7. Ask Their Opinion

Beautiful couple talking, sitting on couch at home, have a nice conversation at their cozy apartment

 

Another great way to ask someone on a second date is to ask their opinion of what they’d like to do or what their ideal second date would be.

For example, you might pull them to the side and express that you’d love to have a second date with them.

If their ideal second date is something you can make happen, you might then say that you’d love to be the person with them on that second date.

By asking their opinion, you might make them feel a bit more comfortable.

If they’re still unsure, you give them some power to set the rules and standards for the second date.

That increases your chances of earning a second date.

Even if they don’t have an ideal second date in mind, you can always ask them what they’d like to do.

They might have some ideas that they’d like to share.

If it’s just you deciding what you’re going to do on your dates, it might frustrate the other person or turn them off.

You can ask for a second date by asking the other person for their opinion about the best possible second date idea.

 

8. Remind Them Of The Great Time You Had Together

Portrait of young european couple man and woman hugging in green park at sunset.

 

You might find yourself in a situation where a few days or even a week have passed since you last spoke to them.

Life may have become busy, and you didn’t have the chance to touch base with them again.

If this happens and you still want a second date, one of the best things you can do is remind them of the great time you had together on your first date.

It’s important to remind them in casual detail since it will inspire those feelings in them once more.

When they remember how much fun they had with you, then when you ask for a second date, they’re going to be more likely to accept.

By just calling them and blatantly asking them after not having spoken to them for a while, they may think you’re giving them mixed signals.

They may think that they’re not that important to you.

It’s a much better idea to warm them up by reminding them of the good memories you shared on your first date first.

 

9. Don’t Wait Too Long

Joyful African American Guy Talking On Cellphone And Smiling

 

That said, it’s also important that you don’t wait too long to ask for a second date.

If you want to ask for a second date, then you should do so either after the first date is over or the next day.

The longer you wait to ask them, the more it seems like you didn’t enjoy your time with them.

It also makes them feel as though they’re not a priority in your life.

That doesn’t make for good partner material.

However you ask them on a second date, it shouldn’t take you a long time to reach out to them.

 

10. Tell Them You Enjoyed Spending Time With Them

Smiling ethnic woman hugging her husband on the couch from behind in the living room

 

One of the classic ways to ask for a second date is to tell them how much you enjoyed spending time with them.

It’s important that you have them understand the deep connection you’re feeling with them.

While you don’t want to come off as desperate or clingy, it’s a good idea to let them know that they affected you.

To ask for a second date, you might tell them that you really enjoyed spending time with them, and you’d like to do so again.

You might tell them that spending time with them really impacted your day in a positive way.

It was the highlight of your day.

They’re more likely to accept your offer because they feel as though they’ve had a profound effect on you.

If they’re feeling that connection, too, then knowing you’re also feeling the connection will encourage them to accept your offer of a second date.

 

Conclusion

Asking for a second date isn’t always easy.

By using the methods above, you can increase your chances of landing a second date.

Filed Under: The Cold Spotlight

About William Butterworth

William Butterworth is a professional writer of both compelling content copy and fiction. When he isn't rescuing his faithful dog's ball from beneath the sofa, he's busy with his friends playing Dungeons and Dragons or various other nerdy past times. A lover of books, tea, and 1800s fashion, he often feels a small step out of place amid modernity. In the words of Tolkien, all those who wander may not be lost, but William certainly is.

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How To Ask For A Second Date (10 Ways)

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