Finding yourself feeling unamused, bored, or even experiencing feelings of hatred against your friends may be troubling.
Even if you’ve been friends for a long time, you may suddenly realize that you don’t like them anymore.
You don’t enjoy the time you spend with them.
It may make you wonder what’s changed and why and what to do next.
Here are a few reasons you may not like your friends anymore and the steps you need to take about it.
I Don’t Like My Friends Anymore (Reasons, What To Do)
1. Different Political Beliefs
One of the biggest reasons that split friends, families, and lovers apart is political differences.
In a time when political beliefs are so ingrained in one’s identity, it can be difficult to appreciate someone who has a different political viewpoint from your own.
Thanks to polarizing vernacular and an “us versus them” mindset, it can be difficult to find common ground between people of two different political identities.
If you have different political beliefs than your friends, then you may feel left out of conversations.
When debate and conversation inevitably turn to politics, you may even feel ashamed.
You may feel as though your perspective is unwelcome in the conversation.
This can make you feel alienated and as though you’re not part of the group.
Even worse, it can give your friends ammunition to tease and use mean-spirited jokes about you and your beliefs.
You may not like your friends anymore because you’re just too different when it comes to politics.
2. Different Interests
The person you are today is likely not the same person you were as a child.
As a child, you may have enjoyed going outdoors and using your imagination to play.
As an adult, you likely don’t have the time or energy to use your imagination as much as you once did.
You certainly don’t have the energy to go outside and pretend you’re a knight defending a castle.
The same goes for other interests that you had as a teenager or a young adult.
As life changes, your interests change.
As you experience more, your experiences shape you and define your interests.
That can also impact your relationships with your friends.
Some of your friends may not have had the same experiences that you did.
Thus, their interests may still revolve around what you used to do together.
An example is playing video games.
Perhaps you all once enjoyed playing video games together.
Then you met someone and had a family.
You may not find yourself with enough time, between raising a family and going to work, to sit down and enjoy video games anymore.
Your experience as a parent has changed your interests.
You’re more interested in spending time with your family than sitting in front of a TV and playing games with your friends.
Your friends, on the other hand, may not be parents and thus don’t have the same experience as you.
They’re still interested in playing video games together.
The thing that used to bring you together may no longer apply.
With nothing else to rely on to keep you together, the friendship can deteriorate and become awkward.
Interests change, and that changes the state of the friendship.
3. Not Much In Common
If your friends came from your college, then you may find that you don’t have much in common outside of college.
A lot of college friendships originate from group projects, shared classes, and shared dorm rooms.
Your friendship may have included a few other activities, but at its heart, it’s a shared experience of college.
You struggled together to study for exams, complete projects, find internships, and wake up early enough to attend class.
Since college ended, you may realize that you’re completely different people.
Without that shared experience of going to class together, going to games together, or even sharing a room together, there’s nothing there to keep the friendship together.
As a result, the friendship deteriorates.
You don’t know what to talk about because you both enjoy different things.
You don’t know what to do together because you each have your own interests.
The only thing you can talk about is the past.
Thus, the friendship remains in the past instead of developing and moving into the future.
This also goes for high school friends.
You may find that you don’t have anything in common with them aside from having shared experiences in high school.
4. You’ve Grown
One of the main reasons people don’t like their high school friends anymore is that they’ve grown.
The person you were in high school is unlikely to be the same person that you are now.
In high school, you were still growing emotionally and physically.
Now that you’re older and have had some experiences, you may know yourself better.
The things you enjoyed in high school may not be what you enjoy now.
That also goes for your friends who haven’t grown as much as you have.
They may still cling to their high school dreams, interests, and beliefs.
It can be difficult to be friends with people who don’t change.
Not only do they represent a version of yourself that you maybe feel some shame about, but they’re also a constant reminder of it.
You may find that you want to do more with your life than they do.
It can feel as though they’re holding you back because they’re stuck in the past.
The opposite may also be true.
You may want to remain in the past while your friends want to move forward with their lives.
Personal growth is one of the primary reasons high school friendships deteriorate.
5. They’re Bullies
Your friends could be bullies, and you may not even realize it.
Making friends can be difficult.
Once you make a group of friends, it can be difficult to leave it or see that the people who make up the group are bullies.
The idea of leaving the group can be scary.
You don’t want to be without friends.
However, staying within that circle of friends may subject you to bullying.
They may pick on you, make fun of you, demean your choices or interests, or even just try and bring you down.
You may not recognize it as bullying because it’s just “how you talk to one another.”
The absence of meaningful care and respect means they’re bullying you.
If you can’t have a deep conversation with them without feeling as though they’re not taking you seriously or, at worse, making fun of your feelings indicates that you’re a victim of bullying.
People who are in toxic relationships often don’t realize how toxic the relationship actually is.
That’s because they’re too close to the individuals.
They’re trapped between the ecstasy of having a group of friends and the agony of the treatment they receive from their friends.
When you start to realize that the quality of your friends isn’t great, then you can step back and analyze the friendship.
Do they make you feel good about yourself?
If not, and if they do the opposite instead, then they’re not friends.
You may not like your friends because you’re realizing what they truly are.
6. They’re Flaky
One problem that you may have with your friends is that they’re flaky.
You try to make plans with them, but they never give you a definitive answer.
Even worse, they cancel on you at the last minute.
This can make you feel as though your friends aren’t as invested in the friendship as you are.
Making plans takes a lot of effort.
If you’re doing an activity, then you may even need to reserve a spot for your friends.
When they cancel on you, it costs you time and, in some cases, money.
It’s a frustrating experience.
It makes you feel undervalued.
It may even make you question if they truly consider you a friend.
If they enjoyed spending time with you, then they wouldn’t cancel as often.
The truth is likely more complex than that, but it can give you feelings of insecurity.
Flaky friends can certainly make you feel as though you don’t like them anymore.
At the very least, it makes you not want to invest as much into the friendship as you were before.
7. They Don’t Get Along With Your Partner
Introducing your partner to your group friends is a big deal.
These are the people you like to spend time with, people you value.
In most cases, your partner can merge with your group of friends without any problems.
In other cases, it’s sometimes better for you each to have your own sphere of friends.
In worst cases, your friends actively come to hate your partner.
This becomes a problem when they hate them for no reason.
It may be because of a childish belief that your partner is going to take you away from the group.
They may feel threatened by your partner’s presence in terms of their place in your life.
Whatever the reason, you can feel the tension between your friends and your partner.
You may not like them because of it.
This can become even worse if the friends start to bully or belittle your partner.
They may make fun of their interests or favorite TV shows.
These may seem small, but for your partner who is trying to connect with them, it can be devastating.
The problems may only escalate from there.
You may find yourself having to live two lives.
There’s the life you live with your partner and the life you live with your friends.
That’s an exhausting way to live.
It can make you resent your friends.
If your friends don’t get along with your partner, then it usually spells trouble for the group as a whole.
8. You’ve Spent Too Much Time With Them
Perhaps you’ve noticed that the more time you spend with someone, the more annoyed you become with them.
That’s because the extra time allows you to notice all their habits.
Those habits may annoy you for some unexplainable reason.
If you keep spending a lot of time with that person, then their habits could annoy you to the point that you think you no longer like them.
It’s important to keep in mind that you probably do things they find annoying, too.
A better solution is to limit your time with that person.
Find something to do outside of your relationship with them.
When you have a few experiences without them, it can freshen up the friendship.
You’re able to talk about something new.
It also gives you a much-needed break away from them.
You may even find that you miss their annoying habits.
9. Vulnerability Problems
The reason that you don’t like your friends may not have to do with your friends at all.
It may be because you’re unable to be vulnerable with them.
If you feel as though you’re not valued, seen, or respected in your peer group, then it may be because you haven’t been open with them.
Revealing your vulnerability may be more difficult for you than you realize.
You should ask yourself how well you’ve let your friends know you.
How close are they to you?
Do they know your worries, dreams, or joys?
If not, then you may need to analyze why that’s the case.
Maybe you have some friends you feel you can’t trust with your vulnerabilities.
Not all friends need to be intimate with you.
However, if you do want close relationships with your friends, then you need to be open, too.
Work on being able to bring them closer to you.
Share with them the vulnerable parts of yourself.
When you’re open with them, they’re more likely to open themselves up to you, too.
The result is a fantastic relationship that becomes unbreakable.
The first step is learning how to be vulnerable in front of others.
10. They Cross Boundaries
One final reason you may not like your friends anymore is that they cross boundaries with you.
They may push you to do things that you don’t want to do.
They may say things that you don’t agree with.
The problem is that they may not know these are your boundaries.
If they did, then there’s a chance that they may not cross them.
If they do, then they aren’t a good friend, anyway.
When friends purposely cross boundaries, then it’s understandable that it might inspire feelings of hate and discomfort.
They don’t respect you enough to avoid crossing your boundaries.
It can make you feel unheard, undervalued, and not taken seriously.
What to Do If You Don’t Like Your Friends Anymore
When you feel as though you don’t like your friends anymore, then you may be unsure of how to proceed.
You may even experience feelings of fear of losing your friends despite your dislike of them.
The idea of being alone in the world without friends is a scary and lonely one.
However, you’ll find that it’s much better for your mental health in the long run.
Here are a few things you can do if you don’t like your friends anymore.
1. Have An Open Conversation
Perhaps the scariest, but most effective, thing you can do is have an open conversation with them.
This is better suited for friendships in which you’ve grown apart or someone is crossing a boundary of yours.
Tell them about your boundaries.
Tell them about the values and interests that you have now.
Then invite them to join you in sharing those interests and values.
If they respect your boundaries going forward, then the friendship is salvageable.
The same goes for friends who are willing to try new things together.
Speaking with them is a great way to get everyone on the same page.
It can ensure they don’t hurt your feelings moving forward and vice versa.
2. Reinforce Your Needs
One of the reasons your friendship is deteriorating is that you haven’t been vulnerable with them.
You need to open yourself up to them and let them know what your needs are.
If you’re someone who needs to hang out at least once a week, then tell them that.
If you prefer to talk on the phone rather than text, then tell them that.
Let your friends know what you need out of the friendship.
Then be willing to listen to their needs as well.
When you’re all on the same page and know how to be better friends with each other, the friendship can flourish.
3. Try Something New
Sometimes you may hate your friend because the relationship feels stagnant.
You always talk about the same things and do the same things.
One way to solve this is to do something new.
Plan out a new adventure that neither of you has done before.
Then share the experience with your friend.
You don’t have to do something new every week, but try to do something new together at least every month.
It keeps the friendship fresh and brings you closer since you’re experiencing it together.
You’ll forge new memories that you can draw on later.
4. Cut Out Toxicity
Sometimes the friend group suffers because one of the friends is toxic.
Sometimes the entire group is toxic.
You need to be able to understand what a toxic friendship looks like.
A lot of resources focus on toxic relationships, but not always on toxic friendships.
Being able to recognize that you’re in one can help you take the next necessary steps.
The result should be to cut that toxic person out of your life.
It can strengthen the friend group since no one feels belittled or small.
It can also strengthen you since you’re able to define yourself without that toxic person telling you who you are.
When it comes to toxic friendships, the best thing you can do is get them out of your life.
5. Make Boundaries Clear
A way to salvage a friendship is to make your friends aware of your boundaries.
If it’s politics, then tell them that, in your friend group, politics is not a topic that you will discuss.
You expect the same of them.
It allows you all to believe what you wish to believe without potentially tearing the other person down by debating the topic.
Discussing inherently emotional topics can be difficult in certain friend groups.
The best thing to do to preserve the friendship is to avoid talking about it at all.
Set the boundary and ensure that everyone respects it.
Then you can focus on the topics and interests that you all enjoy that don’t cause tension.
6. Make New Friends
It’s not impossible to make new friends.
In a world that’s more connected than ever, your type of friend is out there.
The best way to find friends is to do things and go to places that you enjoy.
You’ll find like-minded people there that share your interest.
Speak with them, be open with them, and you may find that you have even more in common.
As a human, you’re always evolving and changing.
It only makes sense that your friend group changes and evolves as well.
Consider these possibilities to understand why you don’t like your friends and the steps you should take after that realization.