The feeling of potentially finding the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with can be exciting and energizing.
Don’t let these new emotions lead to rash decisions, but instead, consider the long-term effects that your decision will bring.
The strongest relationships are built on patience and strong reasoning.
How Soon Is Too Soon to Move In?
You should wait a minimum of a year after you start dating before considering moving in together, but two years is a better span of time.
For the smoothest transition, you will want to know exactly what you’re getting into.
Before moving in, you should know how your significant other lives.
Couples who do not see eye-to-eye on a lot of things may have a more difficult time living together, whereas those who are of a similar mindset to their partner will find that daily life goes much more smoothly.
The perfect timing for when each couple should move in together is completely unique to them.
Some people click instantly and function like a well-oiled machine early on while others may need to work through personal and social issues before they’re ready to live with their significant other.
Moving in together shouldn’t be something you do until you know your significant other as well as you know your best friend.
When you live together, you will see your partner at their best and their worst.
You need to be able to know what to expect.
Sometimes, as you get to know a person better, you may find that your personality may not mesh as well as you originally thought.
Normally, that’s the point where you separate and move on.
However, when living together, breaking up becomes much more complicated.
That’s why it is best to know the person you’re living with as well as you can.
Some couples may find that they can comfortably move in together sooner rather than later.
These are the types of couples that are constantly together and truly are each other’s best friends.
The best relationship advice to take to heart is to date or marry your best friend.
The same applies to living together.
What You Need to Know About Your Partner
The better you know your partner, the more likely you’ll be ready for the experience of living with them.
There are a few key aspects you should know about your partner before even thinking about moving in together.
Cleanliness
The first thing you should know is what your partner’s house or bedroom looks like.
You will be able to get a good picture of how clean your partner is going to be in your own home.
How clean a person keeps their things also shows how much respect they have for their things.
Temper
You should get a good idea of what kind of temper a person has before moving in.
Moving in with someone who has a short temper can be stressful, especially if it was not something you were expecting out of the person.
Pets
For couples with pets, you should know how each of you raises your pets.
Some pet owners may allow their pets on the furniture or to do certain things that other pet owners may not.
When moving in together, you will want to make sure that each pet is living by similar rules to avoid confusion.
Adversity
Before moving in, try to analyze how well your significant other handles adversity.
You should identify what their response is when someone doesn’t agree with them.
You don’t want the differences in your opinions to be the root of potential arguments.
Financial Responsibility
Living together can be just as much of a financial investment as it can be an emotional investment.
You should know how you and your significant plan on paying your bills and buying your groceries.
Future Plans
You should know what your significant other wants for their future and if they have any plans for achieving it.
Decisions like having children, career plans, and preferred location should be discussed.
Setting The Expectations
Even couples who know each other better than they know themselves should take some time to talk about what expectations they have for each other.
This allows for you two to have a standard way of living together.
Emotional
The first set of expectations you should talk about are emotional expectations.
You should be clear on situations such as what happens when there is an argument, how to tell one another that they are upset, and if there is anything that makes them prone to emotional outbursts.
Chores
You should also figure out who will do what chores.
Consider whether they’re in school or working frequently when deciding, but also make sure both parties are doing their share of the housework.
Writing out a list of all possible chores and how frequently they must be done makes it easier to decide who gets what task.
Medical
For those couples who may have medical problems, this is the best time to discuss what level of help you need throughout the day if any.
Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to ask you’re significant other for the proper help you need because a good partner will want to make sure you are taken care of.
Social
Social expectations are often forgotten when discussing how things will go on in your house together.
Whether you will hold parties or have your friends hang out at the house is something you two will have to talk about.
You may need to set a curfew for how late your friends can stay.
These expectations don’t need to be perfectly followed, but you should use them as guidelines for what you’ll need to do in a day to keep your household running.
There may be days where you or your loved one may not be able to do what needs to get done, so be compassionate with one another.
Consider Your Collections
When moving in together, many couples find that they don’t have the room they need to fit all of their things into one house.
Finding this out on your moving day is stressful and may leave your house looking like a hoarder’s house.
Minimalistic couples won’t have to worry about needing a large space, but couples with a lot of clothing, furniture, collectibles, or other items are going to need a bigger space.
To test whether your space is too small, try taking up half of the space that you have available to you.
If you should find that your space is too small and can’t move into a larger living space, you can always rent a storage space or see if a family member has room for some of your things.
Ensure that one person isn’t storing away all of their items and try to compromise.
If you are having your significant other move in with you, try to make some of their furniture and decor work with your own in order to help them feel more at home.
When moving in together, you will quickly learn the house is no longer “mine” but “ours”.
While it is completely understandable to have the need for your own personal things or space, it is best not to be possessive or stingy.
Life will go more smoothly if you share what you have and enjoy things together.
However, if your significant other asks you not to use a personal item, you should be respectful.
For example, they may ask you not to use an item because it could break or potentially hurt you.
Being respectful of your significant other’s wishes and their things is part of respecting and appreciating them.
Get To Know The In-Laws
When you commit to a person, you are also committing to being kind to your partner’s loved ones, be it their closest friends or their family members.
You never know when you found the diamond in the rough of a family.
Countless relationships have become nightmares and even ended due to the company that someone’s significant other keeps.
Whether it is a creepy friend or crazy mother, the people that you bring into your significant other’s life should be respectful of your relationship.
In the same way, your significant other should respect your family and friends.
You don’t want to move in with someone who wants to separate you from all of your loved ones or someone who puts a strain on all of your other relationships.
You also don’t want to move in with someone who isn’t willing to stand up for you when their loved ones are giving them trouble.
One of the best signs you can get from a significant other is having a significant other who loves your loved ones just as much as you do.
Knowing what kind of relationship your partner has with their family is important.
You should know how invested your partner’s family is in your significant other’s life.
If you don’t get along with your in-laws, then you may not want to see them constantly.
Being in a relationship for an entire year will give you an idea of how each of your families handles holidays.
A two-year relationship allows you to experience every holiday with each family.
It also helps you figure out what holidays you’ll be spending with which side of the family.
Remember that it is just as important to impress your significant other’s best friend as their parents.
Best friends can be even closer than family for many people.
How To Tell If You’re Ready To Move In Together
If you feel that you’re close enough to live together but aren’t certain, there are a few things that you can do in order to see if you’re ready to live together.
There are a couple of ways for you to practice living together.
Before living together, trying to stay over on the weekends.
This will help you get used to sharing a space and what you typically do in a day.
If you have a pet, bring your pet as well.
Spending the weekends at your significant other’s home will also give you a lay of the area around where you will potentially be living.
You will be able to get an idea of what your new commute to work will be like.
If staying the weekends together isn’t an option, you can practice living together by going on vacation.
Going on a vacation with plenty to do and see will give you an idea of how long it takes for your significant other to get ready.
Those taking a plane to get to their vacation destination will be able to see what their significant other is like under pressure.
Getting to your plane is always the most stressful part of a flight, and this is a test of patience and peacefulness even for the calmest people.
While planning the vacation, you’ll get a good idea of how different your ideas of what a vacation should be.
Not everyone feels the same way about amusement parks, camping, or going to tourist destinations.
You’ll also be able to see how each other winds down.
Someone who prefers to wind down with soap operas may not want to watch their significant other play video games.
Others are just as happy snuggling up to each other and dozing off after a busy day.
